There have been a number of big things that happened this past year, I graduated from my B.Ed. and became a qualified teacher, I got my first teaching job (which happened to be on the other side of the world), and a terrible break up with my boyfriend of 4.5 years. Getting a teaching job before graduation was an amazing feeling, moving to a country where part of my family lives, totally cool, but teaching in England wasn't the dream I thought it would be. As I've mentioned before I had some major health issues pop up while working over in London which lead me to leave my job, move in with family and then permanently move back to Canada (all within EXACTLY 4 months).
As you guys know I had to take a break from YT/Blogging because of work and that I really missed it, but something you didn't know is that once I moved in with family and thought "oh yes I can film and blog 24/7 now with a house to myself for a good chunk of the day" I actually slipped back into a bit of a depression. I've never really written about that on my blog but I did mention it a bit in the 50 Facts About Me Tag that I filmed a while ago. I've gone through rough patches in life that have had great impacts on me, even if others didn't think it would. I had a lot of time to think and my body was finally able to de-stress and release all my anxiety. Sure I was still a generally "happy" person but I just felt so much weighing on me that was out of my control. It still hasn't really passed but I think things are getting better. I can't go into teaching at the moment because of interviews to become a supply being limited which is why I will be able to spend time on blogging and filming. I need a distraction that I enjoy and I'm hoping being able to reach out to fellow bloggers and build new relationships with people will help.
Other things that happened this year is that one of my uncles was diagnosed with cancer and after a family rift of just over 5 years we were finally able to come back as a family which was amazing. I was able to see my mum for a holiday back in June after finishing school but then the breakup happened and that messed me up for a long while. Thought we'd be able to work things out leading up to my move, while I was away, and once I came back but found out that we can't. We are going to be friends which I'm sure to some of you may seem impossible but I'm going to work damn hard to make it work. It's one of those awkward situations where most of my "going out/parties" were spent with one group of friends that I met through him. They are all chill about hanging out but there are still kinks to work out I suppose. Time will tell.
Another craptastic bit of this year was the fact that I gained weight. Oh yay. The joy...didn't really notice a whole lot in the first half of the year but after I moved it snuck up on me. I don't look dramatically heavier (thank God it distributed itself evenly around my body) but there are a few giveaways and I'm very upset about it. This is the first time in about 6/7 years that my weight has changed so you can imagine how distressing this is. So this new year is a new me in many ways: getting fit, embracing being single, getting a career going along with YT/Blog & enjoying life.
One upside is that I completely redid my bedroom and I'm absolutely LOVING IT. It's taken me over 5 years to get this room to perfection and I think I've finally found it. I will be doing a room tour and videos/posts on my makeup & nail polish storage/collection, closet tour, etc. So make sure you are subscribed to my channel so you can see all that fun stuff!
I saw a quote floating on Facebook the other day that I feel is applicable to my situation,
"The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone
too much, and forgetting that you are special too." Ernest Hemingway
Anyways, I need to work on me for a while and grow as a person and attract positive people in my life along with good friends. After a bad "best friend breakup" in high school I've never quite found someone who I connect to on that level (minus my now ex boyfriend) so I need to find quality friends. Friendship is quality over quantity and sometimes I think we forget that in a world that hypes up social media so much ("followers" "subscribers" "likes" "comments") we don't need many people in our lives, just a few great ones. I've found someone who ticks all the boxes and has helped a great deal over the last 6 months with me coping with life so fingers crossed. I've always wanted my own SATC-type group and am dammed determined to find it.
I hope 2014 was better for you guys, but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger and here's to a better 2015 full of love, joy, and prosperity! I'm thinking about resolutions for this year but want to make a game plan rather than a lengthy list of To Do's, but I may have a post about it in the next week or so. Keep your eyes peeled.
HAPPY NEW YEAR XO